I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love
by Love.For.The.Lost
Summary: Kay moves around a lot. When she comes to a small town in New Jersey she never wants to leave. But what will her mother's new boyfriend have to say about that? My Chemical Romance Fan Fiction
1. Prologue

Prologue

Desperation. Temptation. Suicide. Thos words danced through my head as I splashed the blood on the walls of my new room. Well, I was telling myself that it was blood, stupid red paint ruining my dream. I sighed as I splashed more of my last bucket of paint on the wall.

I could hear in the next room as my mother cried her empty tears. Another relationship had fallin' apart again. Somewhere inside me it hurt to see my mother like this, but I knew she deserved this. She has a horrible taste in people; the men she chose were always mean and beat her, but she believed that one would turn out like my father. Too bad he had to die so soon.

My brother's voice tried to calm her, but even then it was just empty words. He loves my mother, but not me for some reason. I don't really care though; he was an uptight mean person who thinks I talk to Satan. I never do though; I'm always praying to god that we will stay in one place longer than two months.

A thought struck me hard, and I got mad. So mad I kicked the paint can and it hit the wall and made a big splash mark, which I thought was pretty cool.

"Kay, will you fucking cut that out!" My brother screamed through the wall. I stuck my tongue out at the wall like he could see it.

I sighed and stretched out on the lone mattress on the floor. I found my blanket and pulled it over me tightly. Tomorrow I would have to start at a new high school. Again. It made me mad, I felt like crying. I have only cried once in my life. When my father left. I don't want to do it again, so I closed my eyes tightly and willed sleep to come faster.

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. My computer where this story is saved hasn't had internet for awhile. But don't fret, by next year ( doesn't that sound like it's far away but it really isn't?) I will have internet so I can continue on with this story. Oh, I needed to change some things in this chapter to make my story make sense later. Sorry for the name change. I like the new one better. Oh, and sorry in advance, I am completly changing chapter two, I like the new version better. Sorry for the people who like it. And I'm sorry for saying sorry so much. ;)


	2. High Skool

Kay

The next day at school it was the same routine. Teachers make a big deal about you, they make you sit next to a kid who smells like spoiled milk or really good cheese, and then the whole class looks at you like you're a freak. Well now I'm at lunch, trying to look for an empty table which is hard to do. I weaved in and out of table lines, when finally this girl I pissed of in first period stuck her foot out and tripped me. I came down hard, but before that I threw my tray in her direction. She looked down at her Abercrombie shirt and gave a little shriek when she saw food got on her shirt. She scampered off but not before she gave me the middle finger. I attempted to get up but one of her ho-ish skanks pushed me back down. Hard. I lay there knowing that no one here likes me. Until I felt an arm under mine and it pulled me up. I didn't look back at him/her as they pushed me to a table in the far corner. Then I looked back. It was a boy in some of my classes. I don't recall his name though. He had black and red hair, gorgeous hazel eyes, a lip ring, and lots of tattoos.

"What do you think your doing sassing off to Emily Radisson? Do you want to die?" He asked looking a bit pissed.

"I-I didn't know who she was." I stuttered out, completely fucking scared of this kid. He looked like he could and would kill me. My answer softened his features some bit.

"You're the new kid right?" He asked and all my hatred came back to me. I nodded curtly. He smiled at me. A sad small smile. I blinked at him. Realization dawned on his face.

"Don't take the new kid thing to personally okay? I have gotten the same treatment as you." He said walking towards an empty table and I thought why couldn't I have found this table earlier. He sat down.

"Sit, sit. My friends will be here soon." I must have had a scared look on my face because then he said, "And don't worry they don't bite to hard…" He smiled and I gingerly took my seat beside him.

"So…" I began. "Where else have you lived?" I picked at my pants. The little hole was getting bigger. It took him awhile to answer but he spoke with no waver in his voice.

"My father walked out on us when I was little. Mom couldn't hold down a job, so we moved to where she could keep her job. I have lived here for about a year now. I hope this will be a permanent home for me know. Well at least until I get out of here when I graduate." He spoke looking at the table. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Well, my father walked out on us when I was ten. So now we move away from the bad memories and away from my mother's ex-boyfriends. They can get quite violent sometimes." I spoke. He looked up at me.

"Is it just you and your mom?" He asked me turning his body towards me. I nodded my head no.

"I wish. I have an older brother, Charlie. He is such an ass sometimes. I'm pretty sure he hates me." I whispered into my hands. There was a time when we used to be pretty close. I missed those times. He patted my back. I felt a swell of hope in my heart that he would stay my friend.

"I'm sorry for you." He whispered. I nodded. I felt tears welling up. I haven't cried since my dad left and I wasn't about to start again now.

A slam came down from the other side of the table. I jolted upright. It was a kid that had mousy brown hair and glasses. He looked young to be eating senior lunch.

"Jesus Christ Mikey." The boy said. Mikey looked down at his stuff and took a seat across from us.

"Who is this Frank?" Mikey asked him and I was glad to have a name to go with the face. But I hated the fact that he was talking like I wasn't here right now. I hate people who do that. Makes me feel invisible, more so than usual.

"Mikayla." I told him. His eyes swiveled towards mine.

"That's a pretty name." He told me. Then back to Frank, "Why is she over here?" I sighed. Here we go again.

"She looked like she needed a place to sit and eat where the prissy little hoes and skanks won't mess with her." He said with confidence in his voice. I liked that he stuck up for me around his friends.

"Oh," He said and picked at the fraying edges of his binder. Three more boys came towards the table, laughing and walking like they were drunk.

"Hey Frank, who's you little friend." Said a boy with a really curly brown 'fro. He sat next to Mikey and handed him a greasy ass burger. Uh, school food sucks.

"Her name's Mikayla. Mikayla this is Ray." Frank told him. He reached his hand towards me and as I shook it I could feel the grease from the school food seeping into my hand. I kept my cringe to myself though. Down on the other side of Mikey a big guy with blonde hair sat down.

"I'm Bob." He said nodding his head at me. I nodded back.

"Isn't that something that just Mexicans do?" Mikey asked. He had a baby voice. Cute.

"Well Bob thinks he is a Strawberry Mexican." Said a heavenly voice. I turned around. I met a pair of bright hazel eyes. Bob laughed then he did, his eyes growing even lighter as he laughed. I smirked at him. He sat down next to me.

"So Frankie," He began and Frank leaned forward to look him in the eye. "Who is this? Fresh meat?" He laughed. So did the rest of the table. Usually I took offense to this but with him it was like a compliment. God, I was falling for a complete stranger whose name I didn't even know. Oh My God, it's like twilight. I shuddered a bit.

"Her name is Mikayla, Gee." He said.

"Mikayla? Strangely close to Mikey." He smiled at me.

"I prefer Kay." I said. It was what my dad called me. I still enjoy the name even though he is gone.

"Oooo…" Mikey said. "It sounds like a fairy name." He said in his baby voice. I chuckled a bit.

"So," I began. I instantly had everybody's attention. It was a little unsettling but I would deal. "How old are you?" I looked directly at Mikey. He blushed a little bit.

"I'm seventeen." He said. I raised my eyebrows. "I skipped fifth grade." He said.

"Oh, that's cool." I spoke and his face lit up. Somehow my opinion of that made him more carefree.

"Yes, our little Mikey is a genius." The boy with the hazel eyes said.

"You mean your little Mikey." Bob said. I looked towards the boy.

"Oh yeah you haven't lived here all you're life. Mikey is Gerard's little brother." Said Ray. I nodded towards Gerard.

"And how old are you?" I asked Gerard.

"Nineteen." He said no stutter, no anything that proves that he was upset about this question. I didn't ask another question, just laid my head down on the table.

"Are you okay?" Frank asked me. I shook my head. My stomach needed food.

"Where's your lunch?" Mikey asked.

"On some skanks hundred dollar t-shirt."

"Oh," He said. "Do you want some of my burger?" He asked holding out the greasy deathtrap.

"No thanks. I'm a vegetarian. Well, I almost am. I can't give up chicken nuggets." I smiled and Frank started to laugh. He pulled out a salad from a brown sack.

"You wanna share?" He asked and I gave him a sad smile and nodded. I picked up an extra fork they had and started to pick at his food. We ate in silence till Ray spoke up.

"Hey Gee, what was that one background vocals you wanted me to learn?" He said. I paused.

"Oh, in Honey?" He said. I looked towards him. He was thinking. "I can't think of it right now, but I'll tell you at practice later. I wrote it down." I just stared at them as they went back to their food. I stared until Frank looked up.

"What?"

"I could ask you the same thing." They all turned at me.

"Oh yeah, new meat." Mikey said. They all turned back to their food. I gaped at them. Those assholes. I didn't get an answer for the rest of the lunch period. When the bell rang I asked Gerard. His four simple words stunned me.

"We're in a band." And he walked away.


	3. Why Did I End Up With You?

Kay

As I was walking home from school Gerard caught up to me. "So," He began. "You're Frankie's new friend."

"Yeah, I guess I am." I answered him even though it really wasn't a question. I had all my classes with Frankie and he made the teacher put me next to him. I liked him. I could see us becoming friends. But then again if I made friends with him it would be even harder to say goodbye to him when we end up moving again. I don't want to move again.

"That kid can make friends with anybody." He sighed. I chuckled a bit. Frankie seemed like that type. He laughed too. I walked in silence with him for a bit before I realized there was no baby voice here.

"Where's your brother?" I asked looking around for him.

"Oh, he caught a ride with Ray." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"If he caught a ride with him why didn't you?" I asked, stepping out in front of him and stopped walking. He almost walked into me.

He blushed a deep shade of red. "Well," he began. "I wanted to get to know Frankie's new friend." His face was turning shades of red I didn't think possible. I smirked at him.

"And maybe I would like to get to know Frankie's old friend." I told him and started to walk again. He calmed himself down before he started to walk with me again.

A squirrel ran across our path. Gerard cooed at it.

"A squirrel? A little to much ADD." I told him after he stopped watching it run away.

"Why do you care? Do you have something against squirrels? Huh? Huh?" He tried to put on this tough guy act but I laughed at him. He smiled and as we neared my house his hand kind of brushed against mine. I sighed inwardly and blushed a little bit. We arrived at my house way to quickly though.

"This is where I live." I told him quietly and started to walk to the door.

"Wait, Kay." He called. I paused with my hand on the door. "You want to come over to my house at about four?" He asked.

"Why?" I called back out to him.

"We have band practice tonight. My god that sounded geeky." I chuckled and he laughed.

"Yeah sure but you know I don't know where you live." I told him and turned around.

"Oh, yeah that. I'm such a dummy." He shook his head, then whipped out a piece of paper and started to scribble some things down. He finished very quickly then handed the paper to me. It was directions to his house.

"Okay then I'll see you at four then." I told him and unlocked my door.

"Bye Kay." He said then continued to walk down the street. I sighed and watched him till he disappeared from view. I stepped into my house quietly. I heard my mother weeping through the door. It was going to be a long weekend.

A door closed and my brother stepped out. "Why are you here?" He asked and approached the kitchen.

"Dumb ass I live here." I shook my head and rummaged in the fridge.

"I mean why aren't you in your room. If mom sees you she will yell at you." This was interesting.

"And why would she do that Charles?" I said using his real name to piss him off. I turned to him, my hands behind my back. He made this weird noise.

"Well," he said smirking at me. "I saw you walking with a boy. A very hot boy." He said his grin turning into the Grinch's grin.

Cough. "You're so gay." Cough. He scowled at me.

"Well if your going to be that way I should just tell mom about you being with a boy. You know she's worried about you." He said and turned and walked out of the room.

My mother was worried about me turning into her. She had my brother when she was seventeen, the age I am now. I think Charlie told her that I wasn't a virgin anymore, which put her mom senses on. He is such an asshole liar. You know whats the truth. I haven't even had my first kiss yet. I sighed but you know what I have gotten drunk before. Sad isn't it? You know what's even worse, my brother has a girlfriend he could get her knocked up and I would have still gotten in trouble. For what I don't know but he'll blame it on me. I picked out a bottle of vodka out of the fridge and skipped up stairs to my room.

I sat on my mattress, which I have moved to face my window. A tree was blocking the way so there was barely any sunlight in my room. I took the bottle and took a swig of it. I checked my watch. It was only two. I took another drink. "We're damned after all." I said and felt as the vodka burned my throat. It was going to be a long night.


	4. Drunk Time Is Fun Time

Gerard

I walked the rest of the way home alone. I liked Kay. Frankie has good choices for friends. I chuckled. Well duh, he was my friend. I stepped into my house. My brother and Ray were on the couch trying to beat each other at some zombie video game.

"Hey Gee, why didn't you want a ride home again?" Ray asked as he jerked his body and hands around, trying to kick Mikey's ass at a game he knows he is going to win.

"Yeah Gee, why didn't you come with us?" Mikey said in his baby voice he never quite grew out of.

I flipped them off and went into the kitchen. They knew why I walked home. Those little assholes.

"Hey mom." I said I walked into the kitchen. She was bustling around making some type of sweet. She did this every time we have band practice. I thought it was cool of her.

"Hello sweetheart. How was your day?" She said pausing from her work to smile at me.

"Nothing much, same old same old. Oh, Frankie made a new friend today. That's why I'm home so late. They're coming over to watch us practice later."  
"Oh that's wonderful dear. What's his name?"

"Kay." I told her reaching for an apple.

"That's a weird name for a boy." She spoke as she put the dough for whatever she was making in the oven.

"Her name is Mikayla." I told her waiting for the explosion.

"What!" She screamed in whispers.

"Yes mom she's a girl. I know you don't want that for me right now but she's a good friend. She's new and I think all she has is us right now." I walked out of the kitchen before she could yell more. Yeah I went behind her back but she couldn't do anything about it. It sucks but that's the way it has to be right now.

When I walked into the living room Bob was there.

"When the hell did you get here?" I asked him. I know the hell was a little much but I was kind of pissed.

"I came with Ray and Mikey." He said and joined their battle against zombies. I sighed and sat down on the floor and watched as the kicked zombie butts.

An hour passed to slowly but Frank came at three and kicked their butt's worse than Mikey could. It was fascinating.

At about ten minutes to four my mother came out and laid the snacks on the table before leaving with my dad to go out to dinner. They did this every time we had a practice. She gave me a look of you-better-not-have-sex-while-I'm-gone. I rolled my eyes and waved at her. She had never done that before. Only just because I was going to have a girl over was causing her to be all weird. You know what, I could be gay, which would be why I had all these guys over. She wouldn't have known that.

A couple minutes after four Kay showed up. She was drunk. I could smell the alcohol of her breath.

"Hullo Gee." She said using the nickname she heard at lunch. I moved back a bit. Her breath smelled downright gross. How she even got here was a miracle. She took and stepped and tripped. I caught her before her face met the floor.

"Hey Gee, we're going to move into the practice room." Mikey called out and I heard them all shuffle into the room. She giggled and I helped her stand up straight. I took her hand and led her to the room. It was like watching a baby deer trying to walk. As we entered the room they were almost done setting things up. Frank was setting my stuff up. I smiled at him and he grinned using all his teeth. I laid Kay down on the couch we kept in there. She closed her eyes, but I knew she wasn't asleep.

"What song do you want to do first?" I asked them. We only had three songs and we were making our fourth one.

"Let's do honey." Ray said. I nodded. We also didn't have names for our songs. We have generic stuff to describe them. Ray and Frank started the song and I mentally prepared myself for the lyrics. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Kay's eyes open.

"_The amount of pills I'm taking counteracts the booze I'm drinking and this vanity I'm breaking, let's me live my life like this."  
_Kay sat up and opened her eyes more fully now.

"_and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say, Oh baby let me in." _

She slumped backwards but she grinned a chesire cat grin. Once we finished the song she kind of slapped her hands together like a seal might do but tons slower. That's what alcohol does to a person. Mikey giggled then coughed to try to hide his giggle. I think this is the first time he's seen a drunk person.

"You wanna do just one more song or do you wanna quit now to deal with her." Ray asked me. I shrugged and turned to Frank.

"If we stop does it mean we have to leave?" He asked. I laughed. He liked my house better than he liked his own house. I shook my head. He always slept over at our house on the weekends. So we took down everything and they left the room. I approached Kay, who was slumped over on the couch.

"Hey Kay?" I said. She tried to lift her head. I put my hand underneath her chin and brought it up. I felt shocks as I touched her. I liked the feeling. Her eyes looked sad and sick. "Can you get up?" She shook her head. I sighed and picked her up. She fit into my arms perfectly. She was also very light. That's what being a vegetarian does to people. Though I still can't figure out how because Frank eats so much. Her head lolled onto my shoulder.

"Hey Frank," I whispered yelled. His head whipped around. "I'm gonna take her to my room, you wanna bring the game time in there." He nodded and started to gather the things. I brought her down to my basement bedroom. If mother could only see me now. I laid her down on my bed and took a seat beside her. Frank came down and started to set up the Xbox. Ray, Mikey, and Bob came down and started to help him too. Kay moved a bit and laid her head on my lap.

Frank noticed. "Hey Gee, you better hope you don't get a boner." He said and started to laugh. I flipped him off and they settled on the floor. I scooted back so my back hit the wall. Kay looked up at me, flipped me off, and then scooted back so she could put her head back on my lap. I chuckled. They were playing the zombie land again.

I started to stroke her hair. It was really soft and shiny. She rolled over so she could look me in the eyes. Her eyes were an icy blue. It gave me an idea for a song but it'll have to wait.

"Hey," She said. She seemed almost sober, though I knew she wasn't.

"Hey, are you okay? You seemed kind of sad…and drunk." I said, hoping she would laugh.

She looked at me, her eyes telling me enough. She was sad, and yes of course she was drunk. "I'm not okay." She said, tears sprinkling in her eyes. A couple spilled over. I wiped them away with my thumb.

"You will be though." I told her. She sat up and hugged me. I was taken aback. I peered down at the guys on the floor. They were too busy to notice us. I hugged her back. She was quiet for a second.

"You smell pretty." She said. I laughed and she slid down so we were sitting side to side.

I turned and smelled her hair. "You smell pretty too." I told her. She giggled.

"Hey Gee we're kinda hungry. Can we get some food?" Mikey said looking over his shoulder at me. The look in his eyes told me that he knows we want to be left alone. I nodded at him.

"Come on guys, let's go get some Chinese food." Frank said. That boy loves his Chinese food. They all groaned and got up.

"The usual?" Mikey asked. I nodded.

"What about her?" Frank said. I shrugged.

"We can share." They left my room. I heard snoring from beside me. I looked over and she was sleeping. I gently climbed off the bed and took my sketchbook from my beside table. I started to draw her. I know it sounds creepy but I don't do it often. It was hard to capture her beauty (even if she's drunk) in a sketch. Lyrics came in my head when I started to color her face. I gently set my sketchbook down and picked up a pad and a non-colorful pencil.

Hand in mine into your icy blues.

I scribbled down as I looked at her. She looked so peaceful while she slept, not like when she told me she wasn't okay. I sighed and she stirred so I flipped to a different page but she didn't make any other notice of waking up.

And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway.

I have no idea where this is coming from but I like it.

With this trunk of ammunition too, I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets.

I was stuck. Crap. This can't be good. The first song anybody has written in a month and I can't finish it.

"I'm trying!" She whisper shouted. I flipped the page again. She didn't say anything else. I peered over to her. She was still sleeping. Weird. New lyrics again formed in my head.

I'm trying; I'm trying to let you know just how much you mean to me. And after all the things we put each other through.

I read what I wrote then reread it. I couldn't believe I had put how much you mean to me in there. I barely even knew the girl, but at the same time I felt as though I did.

"Watcha writing?" She yawned. I flipped to another page.

"Nothing. Just trying to think of a new song we could write." I mentally sighed because I felt bad writing about her.

"Okay," She said and leaned her head on my shoulder. "Where is everybody?"

"Went to get food." I said leaning my head against her's.

"Okay." She said and shivered. I wrapped a blanket around her. "Thanks. Being drunk messes up my senses." She said and laughed.

"I can tell. Now tell me this, why are you drunk?" I asked and was gifted by silence.

"It's a long story." She said simply. I felt bad for prying but I had to know what was going on in her head.

"I've got time." I told her and waited for her to trust me enough.

She took a deep breath then began.

* * *

YAY updates! (Clap clap) I finally have internet again! If you didn'n notice I changed chap two. (For my reasons) Sorry if you liked it better.

These chaps are dedicated to Cassi...HAPPY BDAY CASSI!!!!!


	5. There's A Reason

Gerard

"Well, I guess my story starts when I was five." She began and looked down, avoiding eye contact with me. "That's when the problem with money started. My dad had lost his job and my mom's job was going out of business. When they had fights I would hide out in my brother's room and he would promise that things would turn out okay. I believed him too. I was an ignorant child and I regret it now." She breathed out and took some time to recollect sad thoughts of the past.

"When both my parents had lost their jobs they had more time to fight about the money. My brother and I hid out till we absolutely had to come home. When we got home we had to dodge flying objects to get to our rooms. I would usually sleep under his bed because I was scared of sleeping in my room alone. I lost half my body weight in the four months of constant fighting. My teachers started to see the change in us but every time they'd try to ask us we'd dodge their questions to try to keep the family together for longer than we knew it would last." She sniffled and wiped her nose. Her eyes darted over to mine and I knew that she was going to keep something from me.

"When the fighting got worse and turned into physical abuse I kept to my room more and more often. I even got a job so I could buy a lock for my room. My brother knew better though. He knew we would never be safe and a locked door won't stop my father from getting to us. And soon he convinced me too. I started to get less and less sleep and started going to school less and less. I moved into his room so I would feel safe all times in the day." She took a shaky breath.

"One day I got home and –"

"And that's why I feel like a raison." Frankie told Mikey as they walked back into the basement.

"Oh I see." Mikey told Frank and Ray and Bob laughed. Kay breathed out a sigh of relief. I shot her a look that said everything it needed to. This isn't over. She broke eye contact with me and I could see the drunkness coming back over her. Maybe being drunk was all an act.

"Where's my food Frankie?" She asked him and sat on the floor with a loud humph. Mikey giggled and handed her a plastic bag. "I said Frankie but I guess the eee part would work for this." She opened the food and started to dig in. I remembered back to her story. Maybe she was making up for years of starvation.

"Here Gee." Frank said handing me a container. "I know how drunk people eat and since she's a stick I can tell she's gonna eat as much as I do." I smiled at him and started to eat my spicy beef. He sat next to me and started to eat his gross tofu thing. I thought of something that happened earlier.

"Wait Frank,"

"I got her tofu too. You can stop worrying," He said. I was very scared. He read my mind. "Yeah and stop freaking out that I read your mind. It's painted all over your face." He said and stuck his tongue out. I laughed and tried to put some beef in his mouth. He screamed. "Do not make me eat a helpless cow!" He screamed and jumped off my bed. Mikey, Bob, and Ray all held out their meat towards Frank. He took off and out of the room. Mikey followed him with his food. Ray shoveled down his food before taking off after Mikey. Bob followed in pursuit slowly. I knew where they were going to be. Frank would run until he got to the park two blocks away and hide in the jungle gym. They would have to catch him and hold him down while they tortured him with Mikey's food. Then they would walk home freaking slowly and come back tired. This gave me close to an hour alone with Kay. She knew this fact. She tried to get towards the door but being drunk slowed down her movements and I got to the door before she did.

"Kay finish your story." I told her and her shoulder slumped. She went back and flopped on the bed.

"Where did I leave off?" She asked sad. I took a seat next to her.

"You got home from school one day." I told her and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"Ahhh yes," she said with a small sigh. "When I came home that day my parents were in a big fight. I didn't think much of it till I noticed Charlie wasn't there. My dad saw me and I couldn't get away fast enough. He smacked me till I bled. My mother stood there watching. When Charlie got home later I was laying on his bed. He tried to apologize but I wouldn't here it. He got mad at me for not forgiving him and he hit me too. I screamed and cried harder so when we heard footsteps on the stairs he rushed to the door. The lock didn't work. My dad came crashing into our room and he hit both of us till we bled, me even more. After that my parents got a divorce and I haven't seen my dad since then. My mother has had a new boyfriend every couple months. She has a horrible taste in men. They are all exactly like my dad. Abusive and unloving. And every time my mother breaks up with her boyfriend we have to move. I've lived in like fifty different cities in the past seven years. It sucks. And ever since the day I got my brother beaten to he has treated me with hatred. You know what Gerard? I've tried to kill myself before. I haven't seceded because I have a vision that things will turn out better. But answer me this Gerard, will things get better? Will I have a life? A friend? A boyfriend? A husband exactly like my dad? Will I become my mother and have to tell my kids this story? Will I succeed in killing myself? Will I?"

I was scared. I had never been faced with these questions. She tried to kill herself. I couldn't believe that. "I don't know Kay. I don't know."

"Thanks, I feel so much better."

"You won't turn out like your mom."

"How do you know?"

"I have a feeling." I said before I leaned down and kissed her forehead. She smiled a sad smile at me. "Because you have a friend like me and I won't let you turn out bad. I promise you that." She squeaked before she threw her arms around me. It was the best fucking moment of my life.


	6. The Bright Spot In My Mornings

Kay

Snoring. Uhhh, where was it coming from? Not from me I hope. That kinda sucks, waking your self up by snoring. But I don't snore. My head burns too. I just about pried my eyes open when I realized this wasn't my room. And there was an arm draped around my waist. Where the hell am I?

It all came crashing back to me. Too fast, it made my head hurt. I should write a note to myself not to drink. It fucking sucks. But I was very glad I wasn't home while drunk. But oh crap, I wasn't home. God, Charlie is gonna have such a believable story when I get home. Oh well, it was a Saturday. I could stay for one more night.

I slowly realized that I was on Gee's bed. The rest of the guys were all on the floor. It was Frankie that was snoring. He makes a lot of noise for such a tiny person. Wait, where's Gee. I lay there for a couple minutes before I realized. Duh, he's right next to you. Being hung over really makes you slow. The arm around my waist moved away and I rolled over to face him.

"Good mornin'" He said. His eyes were open and I bet I could melt in them. Such a pretty color.

"Good morning." I told him. I was quiet. I could tell that much. I closed my eyes and hung my head low. My head throbbed uncomfortably.

"Hungover?" He asked. I could hear the smile in his voice. I nodded, and then gripped my head. God I shouldn't have drank that much. "Aww," He cooed at me like he did at the squirrel.

"I feel like the squirrel." I mumbled. He laughed.

"But did I do this to the squirrel?" He hugged me. I was surprised. Then he kissed my forehead. Also very surprised.

"No, but you looked like you wanted to." I told him honestly. He chuckled and rolled over. I was thrown to the other side. "What time is it?" I asked and stretched.

"Hmm," He said and rolled back over. "Ten." I grunted. I did not like waking up before twelve on the weekends. He looked at me. "Not a morning person aye?" He asked me and stroked my bangs out of my face. The look on his face scared me. It was a face of…knowing. Wait, what did I tell him last night? Oh, fuck.

"No, no, no, no, no, no." I whispered as my eyes darted around the room. I couldn't believe I told him my family problems. He looked at me with worry as I backed up to the wall.

"What?" He asked reaching out towards me. I shrank away from his touch.

"I-I told you guys my story. I-I never tell anybody that. It's a life story that no one is supposed to know. Supposed to keep it secret, for when we move. And now all five of you know." I breathed out shakily. Fuck!

"You didn't tell them." He said softly.

"Wh-what?"

"You only told me, Kay. Your secret is safe with me." He said. I sighed, momentarily glad that I only told Gee.

"Hey Gee Gee!" Frankie called out. Gerard rolled over. I moved so that I could see over his shoulder. Frankie was laying in the middle of the floor while everybody else moved there head under the pillows to block out Frankie's screaming.

"Yes?" Gerard asked warily.

"Frankie's hungry!" He screamed. He looked funny, screaming with his eyes closed. Gerard rolled his eyes and got up.

"Gerard thinks Frankie's being a lazy ass." Gee said and stood right above Frank.

"Frankie doesn't believe that." Frank screamed again. I laughed.

"Well, Gerard thinks that he won't feed Frankie till he gets his lazy ass up."

"Well, Frankie's legs don't wanna work but his tummy wants food!"

"Gerard thinks Frankie's legs work fine." I laughed when Frank stuck his tongue out. His eyes were still closed so it looked like he was five and with his height he could easily be.

"Frankie begs to differ."

"Well Gerard is going to do something Frankie doesn't want.'"

"Frankie now thinks Gerard is gonna give him a blow job."

"That's something Frankie wants." Bob called out from under the pillow.

"Gerard disagrees with Frankie's guess. Something that he hates." Frank's face looked puzzled. Gerard bent down and picked up Frank. He flopped around in Gerard's arms.

"Frankie wants down! Frankie wants down!" He shouted over and over.

"Mikey hates it when people talk in the third person and he wants Frankie to shut the hell up." Mikey screamed in his baby voice and threw his pillow at Frank.

"Frankie's been hit! Frankie's been hit!" He shouted and kept on wiggling. Ray and Bob both started throwing their pillows. Gerard just stood there laughing and trying to keep the grip on the wiggling Frank. I sat there laughing my ass off, ignoring the pounding of my head. I threw a couple pillows at Frank.

"Frankie thinks Kay is being an asshole." He shouted through the pillows.

"Why are you just singling me out?" I asked in a hurt voice. I pouted and knew very well that Frank could see me. I sniffled and Mikey came over. He gave me a hug.

"Keep on acting hurt, I wanna see what happens." He whispered in my ear. I kept my smile hidden as I continued to fake cry into his shoulder.

"Aww, Frankie feels like such an asshole for making Kay cry. Well, Frankie doesn't care anymore. Frankie wants Gee to feed him!" He shouted. Gerard laughed and sighed as he moved to the door. As he stepped over the threshold Mikey jumped up and ran over to them.

"Here comes the bride all fat and wide, he comes the groom skinny as a broom." He sang. Ray and Bob laughed and walked over to the door.

"My dear Mikey," Frank said. "I think you got that all messed up. I am skinny as a broom…Gee not so much. But I still love you Gee!" He shouted and hugged Gerard's neck. I felt a surge of jealously but kept it hidden. "Oh, and Mikey, sweetheart, save the singing for you brother. You did not get his talent." Frankie told him and patted his head like a dog's. Mikey stuck out his tongue.

"Here comes the bride!" He sang of key more than he was a couple of minutes ago. Off key and louder. He followed them out to the kitchen. I followed Ray and Bob, who were singing along with Mikey, silently.

When we got to the kitchen I saw that Frankie was sitting on the counter and Gerard was toasting him a bagel. Mikey sat next to Frank while Ray and Bob sat at the table. When Frankie finally got a bagel and some coffee he stopped talking in the third person.

"What are we doing today Gee?" He asked as he nibbled on his bagel.

"I don't know." He said drinking his own cup of coffee.

"Oooo! Let's go play at the park!" He squealed. I laughed and yawned. It was going to be interesting hanging out with them. Gee chuckled too and nodded. It was like four minutes later when Frank finally stuffed the rest of his bagel in his mouth and said it was time to go. The walk over there was fun. Frankie chased after a bird while Mikey ran behind him singing. I walked slowly with Gee, Ray, and Bob, who I learned doesn't talk much, except for a sarcastic comment here and there.

When we got to the park we found Mikey swinging on the swings and Frankie hanging upside down on the monkey bars.

"Frankie is a little monkey." I said and climbed next to him. Ray came and stood underneath us. I made sure I wasn't going to fall before reaching over and tickling Frank. He squeaked before falling on Ray.

"Sorry Ray." I said as he pushed Frankie off of him. I slowly reached up and replaced my feet with my hands and did a perfect double air somersault. I landed perfect dismount and smiled at my retained knowledge of gymnastics. I turned around and saw all the guys with their jaws on the floor. I walked over to Gee.

"Keep your mouth shut Gee, you don't know what could get in there with your jaw being that wide." I said and pushed his jaw back up.

Bob seemed to get a hold of himself because he said something. "Like Frankie's dick." He said proudly, earning him a middle finger from Gerard and Frankie's tongue being stuck out at him.

After playing for about an hour we all sat underneath the main gym. It was cool down there and I was grateful. I got sweaty running around. I forgot how much fun you could have with friends. I was leaning against Mikey and had my feet in Gerard's lap. He started to massage them. I was in heaven.

"So Kay, how do you like our crappy excuse for a school?" Ray asked as he picked at the weird fake gravel that was posing as the floor.

"It's fine. I just wish I had more friends." I said truthfully. Maybe they could have some insight of who I should hang out with.

"Hmm," Frankie said, and I realized he was in all my classes. He would be able to help. "Well, Brendon Urie is in our English class. He's pretty damn cool."

"Or Pete Wentz who is in our gym." Mikey said proudly.

"Isn't Billie Joe in your guys math class?" Gerard asked. Frankie nodded and smiled.  
"I almost forgot about him." I laughed at how cute he sounded. He was getting very close to Mikey's baby voice.

"Well that helps a little bit. Anybody I should watch out for?" I asked. Everybody looked at Gerard. I did too.

"Bert McCracken." He spoke, not thinking it over. That name sounded vaguely familiar.

"Why?" I asked.

"He's a back stabbing asshole. A girlfriend stealer and just a horrible greasy nasty ass excuse for a human being." He said with such an angry tone in his voice I just had to continue on.

"How would you know Gee?"

He sighed and looked at me with such a pain, hate, and anger in his eyes I was momentarily sad I asked him the question, but that passed quickly.

"It's a long story." He said.

"I've got time." I told him using the same words he used on me. He glared at me. I looked around the group. They all looked scared.

"If you don't tell her Gee," Mikey spoke up. "I will." He said with a bit of courage in his voice.

"No Mikey," He snapped at him. "I'll tell her. It's my story. She'll need to know it and she'll find out soon enough." He sighed. His eyes grazed over everybody before landing on me. "Be prepared Kay." He told me. "This story is full of anger, hate, and revenge. Are you sure you can handle that?" He asked. I nodded slowly, confused of where this was going. "Perfect, be prepared for some cuss words and don't interrupt me. Have I made myself clear?"

"Sir yes sir." I said and saluted him. He rolled his eyes before he plunged into his story.

* * *

You know I just realized that if I keep going at this pace this story will be really long. But you know what they say the more the merrier! :D


	7. Tears Won't Change A Thing

Kay

"It started when he moved here in the fifth grade. We were in the same grade that year, same class. When I met him I thought I had finally found someone who understood me that wasn't my mother or Mikey." He shot Mikey an apologetic look. Mikey looked away from him.

"We became fast friends. It was honestly the best year of my life. I didn't have many friends. We hung out a lot. Me, Mikey, and him used to spend all our free time in the basement, reading comic books and saving the world from a zombie apocalypse." Frankie chuckled. Gerard shot him a look of anger but it softened.

"Well, along the lines of doing everything together we had the same kind of likes and dislikes. My mother called him my twin. It was true. We were indeed like twins." He looked down and his voice choked up on were.

"Then, the year Mikey joined us in the sixth grade we became even closer, if that's possible. Then the next year, he got held back. I was sad I didn't have any classes with him, but we still talked all the time. It was like we were a couple." He gave a hollow chuckle and looked down. Ray patted him on the back and left. He couldn't take any more of this story.

"In eight grade I met this girl. Her name was Katie. She was new. It was love at first sight. We were good friends too. But she always said she liked someone else. So, I never really asked her out. If only I knew who she liked before it was too late." Bob left then. I wondered how bad the story could get.

"When I entered high school I didn't see much of Bert anymore. It didn't bother me because I had Mikey and Katie still. We had a good time, and soon I forgot about Bert. But then when he entered high school it was back to being friends, but not as close as we were. Again it didn't bother me. Then we got in a huge fight the next year." He sobbed a bit. My heart reached out for him, but I couldn't make my body move. Frank hugged him then left too. I guess this story gets a lot worse.

"Bert was jealous that I didn't hang out with him much anymore. I couldn't really tell that in his first year of high school, so I didn't linger on that thought. It became very apparent in the next year. He did drugs and drank alcohol after school. I tried to talk to him about it but he would blow me off all the time. I spent more of my time grieving over my lost friend then worrying about my current friends. Then one day I finally found out who Katie liked. It was Bert. I was shocked, but I left it at that. She was very stubborn."

I almost gasped when he said was. I knew where this story was going. Mikey looked ill. I understood why. That was his friend too. He didn't say anything to Gerard, but gave me a look of warning. I scooted closer to Gerard. I could tell that he would need some support to get through this.

"There was an end of the year party that all the popular kids got invited to. Since Katie ran in two loops she got invited. I was there when she was getting ready. Me and Mikey were there. She was so excited, treating us like girlfriends. I had a guess of why. Bert was kind of popular so I would assume he was going to be there. When she left she gave us each a hug. I held her tight and told her to be safe and don't drive drunk or do any drugs. She told me she wouldn't. I believed her." His voice started to get softer and raspier, like he was holding in tears. He turned his face towards mine and I could see that he was actually holding in tears.

"Instead of waiting around at our house I hung at my grandmother's house while Mikey went home. I was enjoying the time I was spending with her. Then my phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number, but I was hoping it was Katie calling from the house phone of the party. It wasn't her. It was the hospital. They told me to get down there as quick as I could. I left my grandmother in a hurry and called Mikey to tell my mother were I was going. When I got there I was sent to a doctor. He told me…he told me…that Katie…had been in a crash." He heaved out the words and let out a sob. I wrapped my arms around him and he collapsed into me. I stroked his hair.

"He said that…she didn't make it…but that the driver did. I asked him who the driver was…he said it was Bert." He sobbed louder this time. "He asked me if I wanted to go see that bastard. I told him yes. I don't know what possessed me to say yes. I just did. When he took me into the room Bert was sitting in a bed. He looked pretty beat up, but he was alive. And Katie wasn't. He looked up and looked surprised to see me there. He asked me what I was doing there. I just stormed out. I saw him again at her funeral. He sat a couple rows back. I was the last one there after it ended. He came up to me. He said not to blame myself for it. I exploded at him. I told him that it was his fault that Katie died. And then I ran leaving him there. I can never see him again, I can never go back to her grave again, I can never be normal again." He sat up, his tears mixing with the rain that was coming through the slots of the play set. I hadn't even noticed that it started to rain.

"He told me to not blame myself. I should have told him the truth. That I wasn't mad at myself, I was mad at him. I think he gets it now though. He gave another hollow laugh. "And you know what. I probably should be mad at myself. I let her go. I let her go to be with him. It's my fault! It's my fault!" He pounded his fists against the ground. I took them and held them. They bled.

"Gerard, it's not your fault. I don't think it is." I hugged him and both of our tears mixed with rain, leaving burning trails of regret and anger painted on our faces.

I'm back! (I was going for a poltergiest type of feeling)

Dont be mad at me, I've had some of the best (and worst) times since I've last posted. I recently have made the best descion of my life. I have changed the people I hang out with. Now, from having one close friend, I have five totally awesome best friends. We are so retarded together. Some of the jokes that I will use will come from the times I've spent with my friends.

So....as seeing that I'm due for some fun, I will leave that at that. If you are reading my other stories, I will post soon (hopefully). If you dont read them, then you should and I will be posting soon. :)


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